This is the story of a girl... whose face she hid from the world.
when i was a little girl, i used to sit by the window in the fall and watch the birds fly away. it was such a wonder to me, how they could be so free, without a care in the world and just spread their wings, not caring who they left behind, where were they going and just… leave.
so day by day i used to stood on the balcony, spread my arms like they did and felt the light breeze rustle my hair, feeling the freedom and adventures calling me from the distance. in my mind i was flying up high with the birds, light as a feather, and i let myself wind carry me far, far away.
but right before i could fly away, two strong arms snatched me from the latch and pressed me close to her chest. my mom scolded me for nearly falling off our balcony, then hugged me tightly, swaying me back and forth, constantly repeating the words that sunk into my brain. i’d die if i lost you. i’d die if i ever lost you.
years passed me by as i stood on the balcony every fall and watched the birds fly away, wishing i could be among them, but at the same time looking back in our kitchen at my mother cooking, my heart breaking at the thought of leaving her. and so they left without me, leaving me to stand there with my dreams and hopes shattered, grounded forever, never to spread my wings and fly away, except only in my head.
Hi, hello.
Another completely random post from my side. My sister actually asked me, do you know what you’re going to write about before you do? And I’m like, ummm, no? And honestly, I don’t. I just come up here whenever I’m bored, such as now, and start my ramblings. It’s April 30th, so all my family is away at this bonfire thingy, and I’m left alone – whipee. Not really, though. I’m sitting in this dark little room, watching random youtube videos, and then I’m going to watch another TV series. I’m seriously addicted, and the thing with tv series is, you can’t stop watching them. I get this feeling sometimes with movies, like I was sure when Lord of the Rings came out I’d watch it all the time, and for a while I did (yes, I really did)… but sooner or later, there just comes a time when you’ve seen a scene too many times, when the dramatic entrance is a bit too predictable, and the heartbreaking battle is just painful. But with tv series, it goes on. There’s always a new episode, there’s always a new twist. Or they make it really horrible so you can’t watch anymore, like they’ve done oh so many times before. What kind of tv shows do I like? Well… There’s the predictable ones, that you can watch anytime to fill your time, like CSI, it doesn’t really have a backstory so you can fall into it anytime. Good examples are also Nmb3rs, Missing, Cold Case, Bones and The Listener. Pretty much every procedural tv show. Oh and House. But he just freaks me out so, no. Then you have the 20 minutes of relaxing, like Friends, How I met your mother, Big Bang Theory, Accidentally on purpose and Rules of engagement. Oh and Spin city. I love that show. It’s quick, and it’s funny. Then come out the emotional and the drama, with Gossip Girl, Merlose place, 90210, One tree hill, Gilmore girls, Grey’s anatomy, Private practice, Greek and so on. So you know, it’s good to watch shows like that, they help you deal with emotional stuff, whatever. Then come out the big guns. Tv shows I, for the life of me, can’t stop watching. Yeah, I know you know, what I’m talking about. 24, Flashforward, Supernatural, Lost, Heroes, Prison break,.. Shows that make your hair stand on end, that make you want to invent time travel just to see what’s going to happen next week.
Damn. Forget the waiting. I’m getting myself some Jack Bauer.
Cleaning.
It’s a dreadful task I’ve been avoiding since the day I was born. When I was little my mum kept trying to make me do my bed (she still does…), clean the dishes, mop the floor… And when I never did, those things I had to do just magically did themselves, without any help from my side. But moving on your own, you realize there isn’t in fact anyone who’ll do things for you. And before you know it, you’re living in this weird-smelling room, with food leftovers, piles of clothes (that you stuff in your closet so you don’t see them) and junk you forgot to throw out. No? Okay, so it’s just me then.
And so I thought, hey, why not clean my room today, it’ll sure make me feel better. You know, the simbolical significance of you cleaning your junk, the fresh breeze when you open the window, the lovely emptiness when you clean every dirty dish… And it also helps you to move on, move forwards, start fresh.
“… come now we’re leaving here tonight, come now let’s leave it all begind…”
I’ve found Foo Fighters to be really great for cleaning purposes (don’t get me wrong, they’re one of the awesomnest bands in the history of mankind, and if there’s any band that can get me up and cleaning, it’s them, thank you dave grohl for your music.) I suppose there’s no better time than now to explain my obsession with Dave. I’m big fan of Nirvana, even though I was practically a child when they were active, but I still firmly believe they changed the life as we knew it, when they came on the scene. And as much as I think Kurt’s death was one of the greatest tragedies of the ninties, I’ve learned that from everything bad, such as his death, something beautiful can be born – Foo Fighters. Would Dave realize his talents aren’t limited only to drums if Nirvana stayed on? Would we have songs like Everlong and Long road to ruin? I don’t know and I’m thankful for them. Dave you’re my hero.*
Okay so, I probably better get going, because my room, truly truly is a mess. I mean, there are book everywhere (even though lately they just started to dissapear, and after a while I realized I’ve lended them to people, and they forgot to return them -.- WHAT-EVER). that’s so rude, don’t you agree? My books are parts of my soul and people not returning them just really bugs me. They look at me strangely and go ‘But… you already read them once, what’s the point in having them around?’ I just go mental when people say that to me. So what if I choose to read the bloody Harry Potter for the 8th time? My problem. I mean, a serious whatever here. Just return my books or don’t borrow them in the freaking first place!!! Sorry, rant.
Like said before, better go because the day is no longer young and I’ve got to get home eventually (:
bbays.*
Hi, hello.
This whole idea with a blog has been on my mind for quite some time now, actually. I just never really had the time (to be honest with you now, it only took me about 5 minutes to create an account), and now having all the time in the world (being a student slacker that is) I decided it was just about time to share my wisdom with the world.
So here we are. Whoever you are, that you’re reading this.
I guess in the first blog you’re supposed to introduce yourself, explain why you’re doing this (and by this I mean, why am I posting my diary online for everyone to read), what are your hobbies, what do you hate, love… So. Me. The obvious first – I’m 19. It’s a pretty good age to be, actually. Not yet an adult (I think you qualify as an adult at 20-ish) and not a teenager anymore. You’re just old enough to know a stupid idea when you see it, but not old enough to not do it. My current occupation is a student, but we all know what that’s like (well obviously not all know, I imagine there are a lot of you out there, who had it all figured out since the day you were born) but for the rest of us, lost souls, we know how it’s like.
In my free time, and by free I mean time that I do not spend studying or in school, I enjoy listening to all kinds of music. Really, all kinds. There is no possible way you can say what kind of music do I like to listen, nor can you tell from the way I dress (I’m in it for the music people, not the uniform!!). I love all sorts of Indie bands, from Kooks (yes, Luke is a poet with an acoustic guitar) to Arctic Monkeys, but like I said, I enjoy all types of music. Though rocker by heart, I can’t go without an occasional corny love song or the upbeat dance song. Other than that, I love spending all day in bed (seriously people, if you’re lucky and you’re at home you can even persuade your mum to bring you food into bed once in a while, hurray!), watching movies (no, please don’t ask me what’s my favorite film, that is so not original.) I do not have a favorite film, as every film is amazing in it’s own way. I absolutely love love LOVE weird and quirky films like Donnie Darko or Benny and Joon, but I proudly admit I’m a sucker for romance, and can’t imagine my life without Hugh Grant and romantic comedies. I do however, have a favorite director which is the amazing and unbelivable Quentin Tarantino. Other than that, I enjoy doing nothing, watching clouds, enjoying the rainbow, counting raindrops, laughing at stupid things, looking ridiculous, coming up with stupid ideas and then doing them, taking crazy pictures, making funny faces, walking backwards (walking forwards is seriously overrated), drinking coffee, talking to imaginary friends, writing a book in my head, directing a movie as I walk down the street, coming up with Oscar acceptance speeches, convincing random strangers I know them, dancing all night, quoting things from movies in real life, reading books (do I have to repeat myself? ALL KINDS OF BOOKS!).
I don’t really know what else to tell you other than that. There isn’t really much else to me, I look like any other normal person if you walk past me on the street. You’d never know what goes on in this busy head of mine, that’s always daydreaming, making plans, coming up with interesting plots… If I tell you the truth I’m actually really messed up. I used get really worried because of it, you know, feeling it’s not normal, it’s not how I’m supposed to be. But I don’t do that anymore. See, what I think is, we’re all a little weird. We all have our quirks, our moments, and maybe I just have more of those than you do. Or maybe, maybe I’m just more aware of them. You know, like the Doors said, ‘People are strange.’ And I really do think that’s true.
So yeah. What to expect from this blog? Random ramblings of a messed up daydreames, a good song title now and then, a good movie advice, maybe even a good advice on life. Who knows, I might even inspire you.
